Secure attachment: How important is this for your child?

Most of us are aware that children and parents or caregivers typically form a strong emotional bond. If the relationship is positive, this is called a ‘secure attachment’.

Writing for ‘The Conversation’, Deneault and Madigan explain that Secure attachment acts like a superpower for children. A strong, positive bond lays the foundation for healthy achievement in children, such as succeeding at academics, good social development, being able to regulate their emotions and general well-being.

The importance of secure attachment has led to studies to clarify how parents can help develop this. A recent study by Deneault and Madigan shows that when parents’ behaviour shows more sensitivity to children’s needs, the child is far more likely to develop secure attachment.

Here are some of their findings:

Being present and attentive

A sensitive parent notices when a child needs attention and quickly provides comfort and reassurance. Infants may cry when they are hungry or scared; older children may have a mishap and hurt themselves. Sensitivity means that parents responds promptly, without being distracted or preoccupied with their own concerns. They recognise and the child’s cues and act effectively.

Being sensitive fosters trust and security

The research, published in Psychological Bulletin, highlights how sensitive and responsive parenting behaviours are key ingredients to achieving secure attachment.

Importantly, this link was present for children of all ages, as well as for girls and boys.

This study shows that sensitive behaviours tell children that they can rely on their parent in moments of need and trust them to help, which fosters secure attachment.

A sense of secure attachment with their parents or first caregivers is also the foundation for relationships with many other caregivers as children grow up, such as grandparents and educators. By having a caregiver who responds to their needs, children learn that when things get hard, they can rely on others for support and comfort.

Many people may primarily think of mothers when it comes to comforting a distressed child. However, this study reiterates that sensitive parenting matters for both parents and can, in fact, be achieved by any caregiver. alike. Being able to recognize and respond to a child’s needs is about being attentive and caring for the child, and this can be achieved by any caregiver.

Strategies to be more sensitive

Here are some strategies to help parents and educators.

Recognize children’s signals. Children signal their needs differently based on their age. For example, babies cry, whimper or grimace to signal their needs. Babies also babble to show their interest in making sounds and to have those sounds be repeated back to them. Older children may cry, openly state their needs or refer to physical symptoms that may signal needs. Teens may withdraw. It’s important to remember that all kids are different, and it may take some time and patience to recognize each child’s specific signals.

Respect children’s pace. It’s important to let the child take the lead. Allow the child set the pace and direction when you interact with them. For example, a small child might want to stop and inspect every rock or flower on a short walk, which might seem slow or dull to a parent, but is a fascinating adventure to a small child whose brain is rapidly developing. By letting children take the lead during play, encouraging their exploration and commenting on what they are interested in, you are helping them understand their world better.
Be kind to yourself. Caregivers can sometimes experience pressure to be the “perfect parent.” However, it can sometimes be difficult to respond sensitively when we are feeling stressed or pulled in all directions. So, while we aim for consistency in our caregiving responses, it’s also important to be kind to ourselves and understand that we are human too.

Journal information: Psychological Bulletin

Provided by The Conversation

Image supplied by Freepik.

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Martin Doherty, writing for The Conversation, says that at the age of about four, children reach important milestones in brain development.

One of these is a huge improvement in understanding others’ thoughts and feelings. This is the start of empathy. Another is in spatial thinking—understanding how objects are positioned and related. This is the beginning of the ability to read maps.

Martin and his colleague, Catherine Sayer, conducted a study with 175 two to five-year-olds to explore how children are able to use scale models to figure out where something is in the real world. At about four, children are able to use a scale model of a room to work out where something is. We thought that this might result from children’s understanding of how one thing can represent something else. But we actually found that four-year-olds’ ability to use scale models came from their spatial abilities.

At the same age, children start to understand that someone’s behaviour is due to what that person believes, not necessarily what is really the case. This has interesting consequences.

If you’ve played hide-and-seek with young children, you may have noticed that they aren’t always very good at it. They love the ritual of looking in all the wrong places first, but beforehand they may tell you where they are going to hide, hide in the same place every time, or not be especially hidden.

After their fourth birthday, they get much better at hide and seek. They understand that the seeker looks in the wrong places because they don’t know where the hider is.

At about three to four children also start to tell lies. They realize they can make someone believe something that isn’t true.

Understanding symbols

Martin’s earlier research with fellow psychologist Josef Perner suggests that four-year-olds don’t just start to understand how others’ minds work. Figuring this out is part of the development of an understanding of “representation”—that symbols, like thoughts, words, or pictures, can be used to stand for something else.

Children start to think about how words relate to objects. This means, for instance, knowing that “animal” can refer to something you already have a name for, such as “rabbit”. This might help children learn the new word.

Their ability to use a understand the components of pictures also improves around this age. Very young children use a lot of trial and error to complete a jigsaw, picking up random pieces to see if they fit. By the time they are about four years old, they start to use the picture as a guide, trying to connect lines and match bits of colour, while checking the guide picture on the box lid.

Developmental experiments

Another ability children develop at around four is using scale models. A classic set of developmental experiments involved a model of a regular household room. The real room had typical furniture—sofa, table, cupboard and so on—and the model had miniature versions laid out in the same way.

Children were shown where something was hidden in the model and told to find an object hidden in “the same place” in the room. Children of around four can find the object using the identical layouts. If shown a sticker under a particular chair in the model room, for example, they can go straight to the “same” chair in the other room. This is the fundamental understanding required to read maps.

Adults see scale models and maps as representations. Maps represent a town or a country. A scale model of, say, the Eiffel Tower represents the real thing. At first, Martin suspected children’s ability to use scale models is more evidence of understanding representation at this age.

He was wrong. Instead, the researchers found that this ability is based on a development in children’s spatial abilities that also occurs at about four. This is the ability to think about spaces and where objects are within them. Spatial abilities help with maths skills, and good spatial ability is linked to an interest in science, technology, engineering and mathematics.

Their experiment was simple. They compared the model room task with a test of understanding how representation works. The two abilities develop around the same age, but they found they were not related. Children who could do one task couldn’t necessarily do the other.

They also had a test of purely spatial ability. Children who passed the model room task also passed the spatial task. So it looks like the model room task relied on children‘s spatial thinking.

They don’t yet know why two important but apparently unrelated abilities arise at the same time. Perhaps it’s related to changes in the growing brain at this interesting age.

Provided by The Conversation.

Image supplied by Freepik.