Rachel Leslie, Annette Brömdal, Cris Townley and Glenys Oberg, writing for The Conversation, explain the difference between school reluctance and school refusal and give tips to help children cope.

School relucatance

Most children will show reluctance to attend school on occasion. This might be due to a stressful event, such as a test or a spat with a friend and is temporary. This is called ‘school reluctance’ and might be accompanied by complaints of a tummy ache, headache or clinginess. In response, parents can help by validating the child’s feelings, like saying ‘I can see you are worried about having to write the test today’.  When the child endures the stressful event, parents can reinforce motivation and confidence by expressing admiration for the child showing courage and ability.

School refusal

In other cases, when a child feels overwhelmed by stressors that make attending school threatening or impossible, they may show ‘school refusal’.  This is clearly more serious and may be indicated by the following:

• spending significant portions of the school day in the office or sick bay
• extreme difficulty in getting ready in the morning, even with basic tasks such as dressing or making breakfast
• physical symptomssuch as nausea or dizziness that worsen on school days, but may also be evident on weekends
• persistent absences from school, even with encouragement and support
• extreme emotional reactions—crying, anger or complete withdrawal—when school is mentioned.

School refusal is closely associated with social anxiety, separation anxiety and school anxiety. This anxiety can become overwhelming and trigger a child’s need to avoid the environment that is causing them emotional distress.  This causes stress in families and can have negative impacts on a child’s academic progress, social skills and general well-being.

Supporting the child

If your child is refusing or can’t go to school, they need empathy and support. You can try the following:

• seek professional help.A psychologist may help uncover and address the root causes of their distress
• work with the school.Talk to teachers and staff about accommodations such as flexible schedules or sensory breaks, and how else they may offer inclusive, affirming and supportive learning environments
• think outside the box.This can include prioritizing well-being over attendance. Consider a break from schooling or alternative forms of education, which may suit your family better
• seek support from other families.You are not alone—there are many other families who share this experience.

Provided by The Conversation 

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